I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
