I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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