I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
