I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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