She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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