hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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