I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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