We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
