UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize