my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
