but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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