lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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