I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
