I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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