you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
