But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
