I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
