like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
