My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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