So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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