She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
