Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
