every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
