jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
