I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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