I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize