After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
