I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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