this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
