If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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