Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
