I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
