with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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