he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
