hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i was born a porn star she said
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
