i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
