Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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