who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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