I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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