if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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