If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
