i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
