yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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