anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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