So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
