Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
