when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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