hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
