You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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