Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I've blown a few things in my day
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
