i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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