3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize