He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
