I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
