So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
