is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
