You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Please don't give away my fajitas
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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