I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
