well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
