i think my mom watched the whole time
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
