yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
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i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize