He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Are my feet made of real feet?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
