Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
