Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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