thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize