So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
