Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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